Stupid Blonde Jokes
Monday, June 6th, 2011Here are some dumb blond jokes from the book ‘100% Blonde Jokes‘.
Give Her Another Chance One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren’t dumb. They begged: “Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we’re not dumb.” The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd. She got up on the car too and the man asked: “What is the first month of the year?” The blonde responded: “November?” “Nope,” said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, “Give her another chance, give her another chance.” So the man asked: “What is the capital of the USA ?” The blonde responded: “Paris?” So the crowd began chanting again: “Give her another chance, give her another chance.” The man said: “Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?” The blonde replied: “Two?” “Give her another chance, Give her another chance.” screamed the crowd.
How Do I Get Across That River? A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her. “How can I get to the other side of the river?” she shouts loudly. The other blonde replied “What for? You are already on the other side of the river!”
The Mini Skirt In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn’t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind a third time to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would be Samaritan and yelled, “How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!” The Texan smiled and drawled, “Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends!”
Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes… This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, ‘Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…’
Blonde Interview A blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. “So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?” The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 22!” The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?” The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!” This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won’t have to count, measure, or look up. “Just to confirm for our records, your name please?” The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “MANDY!” The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks “What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?” “Ohhhh, that!” replies the airhead, “I was just running through that song – ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’”
Read more blonde jokes from the best blonde jokes book ever: 100% Blonde Jokes. Find more now!