Separation For A Short Spell Is A Good Thing
Friday, March 16th, 2012Imagine it, you may even remember it, you are a vulnerable baby and then toddler; you spend all day every day with your mother and or father and they make you feel safe and sound and then, one day, they take you for a walk, introduce you to some strangers and leave you there.
I was six years old – more than 50 years ago – but I remember it very well. I remember crying despondently and my mother peering in through the classroom window at me, crying too. I had no concept what was going on or how long I would have to remain there.
I am certain they all told me and I do seem to have a memory of mum saying that it was just for eight hours, but I am not certain that I knew how long eight hours was or why I was ‘at school’. I think that that first hour set the tone of my school experience for the day, but I soon got over it and loved school within a week.
That day would have been in September 1960. I was my mother’s first child, so she had no experience sending a child off to school and neither did I. I do not think that the council gave advice on the issue and my grandparents would have advised mum to merely give me to the teacher and leave quickly.
I discovered later that it was a difficult day for my mother, but her subsequent four children did not suffer the concern that I had. I suppose they realized that I was already there and that I had not suffered for it. In fact, I liked it.
If this separation has to happen because the children are going to go to state school, it is worth practicing for the big day, so that it does not come as such a shock.
However, if the child is to be homeschooled, it is almost certainly even more important to separate yourself from your child fairly frequently.
It is important for all children to realize quite early on that merely because parents leave them with strangers, it does not mean that they will never see each other again and that it is very doubtful that any injury will come to anyone during (or because of) the self-imposed separation.
The easiest way to begin these separations is probably to leave the child with a trusted relative as a babysitter when you go shopping or on a break to the hairdresser’s.
Later, you can use real, non-family babysitters when you go out for the night. Later still, the child could remain with a grandparent or someone, whilst you go away for the weekend.
If, one parent works and the other stays at home, why not take your child to visit its other parent at work, so that it knows what mum or dad is doing whilst they are away? If you cannot take the child into the position of work, you could meet for luncheon or pick them up after work once in a while.
Owen Jones, the author of this article writes on numerous subjects but is currently involved with how to get home schooled. If you want to read more, visit our website entitled How To Stay At Home From School.